Gender Inclusive Pronouns

I have seen he/him/his, she/her/hers and they/them/their in people’s email signatures. What is this?

He/him/his, she/her/hers and they/them/their are known as gender pronouns. Gender pronouns are the pronouns that a person would like others to use when referring to them because those pronouns reflect that person’s gender identity.

What is gender identity?

A person’s gender identity is how that person would describe themselves if they were asked what gender they are. This may be:

man/boy; or
woman/girl; or
something else such as transgender, non-binary, or gender-neutral.

This is not necessarily the same as a person’s physical sex (i.e. it does not relate to their anatomy).

But are we not all basically either men or women?

Not everyone fits into the 2 categories of man and woman. The traditional understanding of gender under which all people are categorised as basically men or women is known as the gender binary. Not everyone experiences gender in this way.

But are we not all born just male or female?

Not everyone is born male or female. Most people are born with anatomy that allows their sex to be identified at birth as being either male or female. However, some people are born with anatomy that makes this narrow male / female classification redundant. These people are intersex. The way an intersex person experiences their gender may be very different to how a male or female person experiences theirs.

But if intersex people make up only a small number in society, does it not then mean that most people are basically either men or women?

At birth, a person’s anatomy only allows their physical sex to be identified (i.e. male or female or intersex). Their sex/anatomy does not determine how they eventually come to experience their gender. For example, a person who was born male may not necessarily feel they are a man/boy. Similarly, a person who was born female may not necessarily feel they are a woman/ girl. In other words, the way they experience their gender does not correspond with the gender they were assigned at birth (which would have been assigned to them based on their sex/anatomy). A person born male who feels they are a woman is a transgender woman. A person born female who feels they are a man is a transgender man. A person who feels their gender does correspond with the gender they were assigned at birth is a cisgender man or cisgender woman. Beyond this, some people may experience being multiple genders. For example, they may experience being different genders at different times. These people are gender-fluid. Furthermore, some others may even reject the notion of gender altogether, instead finding the term genderless best characterises their own experience.

How does all of this relate back to gender pronouns?

Using a person’s correct gender pronouns makes them feel validated and respected. Just as we would refer to a person by their new name if they were to change their first name or surname, so too we use the correct gender pronouns as a mark of basic respect. Studies have shown that using correct pronouns significantly improves the wellbeing of transgender and non-binary people. This is not surprising given we all need to feel accepted in order to flourish.

It is also important to remember that not everyone has a name which clearly indicates a gender. People with English names such as Kim or Kerry, or names derived from other languages, frequently find that other people incorrectly guess their gender.

But why do I need to share my own gender pronouns? Everyone who knows me knows I am a man / woman, and anyone who reads my name in an email will know whether I am a man or a woman. Why would I want to start using gender pronouns just to point out the obvious?

The more that cisgender people share their gender pronouns, the more the practice is normalised. As a result, transgender and non-binary people, and people whose names do not necessarily indicate their gender, will feel increasingly comfortable to share their own gender pronouns. Ultimately, this leads to a more inclusive society.

Tips for getting gender pronouns right

Share your own gender pronoun actively – in your email signature, on social media, in meetings, etc.
Do not assume a person’s gender pronouns. Instead, ask them (respectfully and privately).
If you do assume a person’s gender pronouns and they correct you, apologise and move forward without dwelling on the subject. Instead, make an active effort to use their correct pronoun during the remainder of the conversation.
Avoid language that assumes everyone experiences gender only either as a man or a woman (e.g. avoid language like “ladies and gentleman”, “boys and girls”, etc.).
Don’t be hard on yourself for failing to get it right straight away. Keep trying and encourage others to also keep trying.

I would like to share my gender pronouns in my work email signature. How can I do this?

If you work at Russell Kennedy Lawyers, please email Helpdesk with your gender pronouns requesting they be inserted in your email signature.